It's strange, how I've been waiting for someone to break the sanctity of my secret journal and It seems that people have been viewing it and yet no one feels fit to leave a comment or post on the tag board. Though this really doesn't matter I was just trying to fiure out what I would do if I came upon a journal that someone didn't tell anyone about and that they were completely honest in. I would probably quietly monitor it and not ask any questions nor make my presence known. I guess it's just part of the "secret" title. After all something isn't secret if people know about it. I would like some feedback on the poetry, I'm always looking to improve, I've got alot of 3 or 4 liners that have some prettiness to them but they aren't any Keats or Wordsworth sort of things. Here, take a peek:
Black tears flow from the statue
Marble of a boy
Arms open to the world
Restless
Listless
Lost
I spin and flail in the void
Self unimportance
Unconditional Love
Acceptance
Pure as the blood rose
The mental spiders spin their webs
Connecting the filaments of memory
The truth of life
The depthles eyes conservee
The poweful arms envelop
The heart loves
Come to me sweetly
Open to me your sacred soul
Show the Pain within
Together we shall succeed
Together in new love
The love of necessity
The unconditional assistance
Let peace consume you
Let love fill you
Let love cure the pain
If you only run...
Waste, a waste of time..
Did the Phoenix run from fire?
Death is a new life
New life is death
Share with me your pain
And we shall burn together a new life.
I'd have to say that I like the first 3 line, I don't like any of the others, but that last long one looks like it has promise so that means you'll probably see revisions of it popping up every now and again. Well I'm off to go sleep off the fact that I got my first ticket ever today, what bullshit. Oh well C'est La Vie... right?
~Bryce Leo~
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